Surviving the Experience
Being in my early 30s, I realize that the things I care about have shifted significantly compared to just a couple years ago. For perspective, I’ve been a mother for three years and counting, I’ve always been a black woman and I’m a Millennial. We are the last generation that grew up before social media and the internet truly took off. I like to think that I have the beauty of viewing the world through a dual lens, thankfully.
I can honestly say that I’m not an extreme humanitarian; however, I have grown exponentially more altruistic considering having a human that I must take care of us for the rest of my life.
I care about what’s happening with our food and this manufactured meat. I use fluoride free toothpaste because all these conspiracies cannot be wrong. I try to use less chemicals while cleaning—although I don’t think I’ll give up bleach. I am also uninterested in climbing to the top of the corporate ladder, as I just want to make as much money as possible—doing what I love full-time one-day God willing—while being able to take care of my kid and continue to pursue happiness. I want a softer life that’s safe. I want to be safe.
You learn that taking care of your body is the ultimate flex so you can be around to see your kids grow up—and yourself, as it is a privilege to grow older. Juice starts to taste too sweet. Your body starts to bloat everyday unnecessarily. You start to not ask for things for Christmas. You start to go to bed earlier. You start having to plan out when [or if] you drink alcohol [or other illicit substances] to prepare for recovery that takes 3-5 business days after the age 25. You will make up a reason to stay in so you’re not guilt-tripped on getting rest.
You learn that you never truly know what people are going through and that you should be kind, always. You learn that for all the folks that really aren’t interested in your life, there are folks out there that are supposed to be a part of your world, undeniably. You learn to lean into things that flow rather than forcing things that don’t want to be kept. You hopefully learn to choose yourself, because when you do that the good tends to amplify and follow. You learn that this is all an experience to be explored on every level.
Life is not a race, although it feels like it with our prehistoric biological clocks. The pressures of social media, our parents, our friends, and it also doesn’t help comparing our lives to folks who have had different opportunities and continue to have head starts in different ways. May I also mention the gender roles that people want to uphold in this economy.
Not to get all woo- woo, but spiritually, we choose our lives and we’re here to learn. Every time, we start stressing, I think it’s best we zoom out and remember that this experience is so much more than what can be obtained materially. I believe when you are on the ideal path, you start to focus less on your next luxury car and more on how you can move the needle on how the world is going to look for you as you age and what your kids [or nieces/nephews] will be left with. What happens if you lose the ability to take care of yourself? What things are in place for the next generation of aging humans? How do we update everything that’s crumbling (buying property, healthcare, insurance, banking, taxes, religion) for the better?
You ultimately start to want to do more than just survive and that’s when the experience begins. That’s when you begin to realize your responsibility as a human is prioritizing your overall well-being, but also how you can share that perspective with others to help them progress. Many call this ‘vibrating higher’ and I agree.
As you learn to align yourself with experience versus survival the things you need to sustain a beautiful life will generate. You 100% must be delusional to live the life you truly want and that begins with realizing you do indeed need to care and tend to every single area of your life, thus practicing and becoming the highest version of yourself.